I was born and raised a Jehovah Witness with no Christmas, no birthdays, and
absolutely no Holiday’s whatsoever. When I got older I wanted to be a
cheerleader and I was not allowed. My brother wanted to be a football player and
he was not allowed. The reason we were told was because it was bad to
associate with anyone who was not a Jehovah’s Witness. I was also not allowed
to go out with anyone in high school for the same reason.
I was also not allowed to participate in the pledge of allegiance which made me
feel alienated. And, when my school classes had Christmas parties or Easter
parties I was not allowed to take part in any of it. During those parties, I had to
leave my classmates and go to the nurse’s office. Looking back it was so very
sad, I always felt like an outsider looking in. I wanted to have fun with the others
but was not allowed, I could not even participate in school plays if they had
anything to do with any holiday.
As I grew older the restrictions changed but I was also convinced like most
Jehovah’s Witnesses that we were doing God’s will. After high school I wanted
to be a pilot but was not allowed to go into the Air Force because it is against our
religion. I wanted to be a police officer but that was also out of the question for a
Jehovah’s Witness. I even wanted to go to College but that was also discouraged
because the Jehovah’s Witnesses taught us that since the end of the world was
so close that to pursue a college education and a “worldly” career was just not
worth the time it would take away from preaching their version of the gospel.
By the time I was 15 years old, I was bulimic and very seriously depressed and
as the years went on it only got worse. When I was 18 years old, I got married to
a Jehovah’s Witness who was also seriously messed up.
By this time, I was an auxiliary pioneer and I remember at a service meeting on
April 12th 1993 someone made a comment about not talking to a family member
who was disfellowshipped. This Jehovah’s Witness said that out of love we
cannot have anything to do with someone who has left the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I just sat there for the longest time and pondered that statement. Everyone
agreed with him and I kept thinking how strange that sounded for me. This was
the beginning of my awakening and it was not long before my Jehovah’s Witness
I felt that nothing that I could do was good enough for Jehovah God, and the
religion as a whole, but I never stopped trying. I kept trying until it almost killed
On May 12th 1993, I saw and heard all kinds of strange phenomena. Looking back
I realize all of it was real and was a battle that God in his infinite wisdom allowed
me to see and hear so that one day I could tell all of you about the battle that is
waged daily for each and every soul. It’s a battle between God and his holy
Angels and Satan and his demons.
If you look at my life you will realize that God is involved daily in the life of every
soul and yearns for each soul to come to Him. God calls to each and every soul
constantly until the day of our death. God calls us to Him at all times and in
various ways. For some this call is very subtle and unless you are wise you will
not even realize that He is calling to you. Others need a louder call and this is
when someone you know comes right out and tells you how great God has been
to them. Still others need a good swift kick and that is where I was. I know that
without that kick from God I may have unintentionally killed myself.
At the time that I received that good swift kick from God, I had Bulimia and I
drank a lot of alcohol, a combination that would have killed me if someone from
above did not intervene. I was not testing God I was just so messed up that I was
The next day on May 13th 1993, I realized that something supernatural was taking
place. I told God that I loved him and wanted to be good and asked him to help
me. I think that was the key: I asked him to help me find the truth and to heal my
life and to send me someone, a friend, that could help me and that would believe
what I had seen.
Just twelve days later on May 25 1993, I met that friend. This friend helped me to
get free of the Jehovah’s Witnesses by asking critical questions about them. The
questions my friend asked me were:
Who started the Jehovah Witness religion?
What authority did they have to read the Bible and interpret it infallibly?
However, the biggest blow was coming to terms with the failed prophecies of the
Jehovah’s Witnesses. You see, my pride was bigger than my ability to reason
and, at first, I had a hard time accepting that the Jehovah’s Witnesses were not
God’s organization. I finally realized that until my reason and logic overcame my
pride, I could never get free from enslavement to the false teachings of the
So, I prayed that God would take away any obstacle to my seeing His truth. And
he did just that. I needed this friend whom God sent me because I was going to
be giving up all of my family and friends who were Jehovah’s Witnesses in order
to learn the truth about God. You see, Jehovah’s Witness are not allowed to talk
to anyone who leaves their organization because they believe that anyone who
leaves their organization has been deceived by Satan and that by associating
with a former Jehovah’s Witness they run the risk of being deceived by Satan
When someone leaves the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they basically lose everyone
they have ever Loved who remains a Jehovah’s Witness. For a Jehovah’s
Witness to leave their organization, they must choose between authentic
Christian Truth and having a relationship with their Jehovah’s Witness family and
friends. That’s why a good friend outside of the Jehovah’s Witnesses is so
important for someone who has either left or is considering leaving the
It is so very important to love the Jehovah Witnesses, they are deceived. It is
easy for former Jehovah’s Witnesses and others to become angry at them for all
the years wasted in the group and for the destruction of relationships that occur
after you leave the group. However, that anger will not save them. Only God and
His love can save them and He will do this. Our God is a Big God and can save
anyone. If He could save me He can save anyone.
God acts in people’s lives the same way He always has. Some say that God no
longer does miracles like He used to in Bible Times. However, I know from my
own experience that He still does miracles. I also know there are many more
former Jehovah’s Witnesses and others out there that have experienced
miracles from God even greater than my own but do not share them with others
out of fear of being thought insane. I personally do not care what label people put
on me as long as there is one soul suffering out there that hears these words and
comes to know that God Loves them as much as he Loves me and is willing to
do whatever it takes to save you.
God is calling us to repentance and trust. The main message of this experience
that I had was to give up trying to control everything in my life, and to let God
guide all of it and make a beautiful song of it. My first step was to come to learn
and to know who Jesus really is and just exactly what He did for me. My prayer
was this: Jesus I don’t know you but I want to know you, show me who you are.
Through many twists and turns he led me to the Catholic Church. I know it
seems strange but He first let me go to all the other Christian religions before
showing me the beauty of his Church, so that I would know this was the one True
Church that he established many years ago with Peter (The Rock). I am madly in
Love with his Church and after what I have seen nothing in the world could
convince me that there is any other Church so infinitely blessed and guided by
If you say: “Jesus take the Wheel” as I did 12 ½ years ago, not for one second
(even though it will be hard) will you ever regret it. And when we get to Heaven I
will be looking for you.